We met at our usual room. The facilitator began expressing how nervous she was about her presentation today. She felt she was not going to be able to be as “good” as her two previous members. The group was supportive about her feelings. However, at this point, I noticed some competition when taking lead roles. It is not just about fulfilling the assignment, now we are concerned with topping previous performances. That became clear to me when she continuously expressed her feelings about her fears as a facilitator and when other members began judging the content of previous presentations as if it were important for this assignment. We all know the process is what counts here, not the content. The only person who has not made a comment about whether the group was “real good” or “fun” is another lady who is a little more vocal these days, but still not quite present as the rest of us.

Interestingly, our group facilitator chose her topic to be conflict resolution. At first, I thought the group would open up with a discussion about the incident that occurred last week with her leaving early. However, nobody brought it up before she started presenting. I also thought since another woman in the group was the subject, she would initiate a discussion about the issue herself. She did approach our facilitator and I about it previously during a different group meeting and explained that there was some sort of misunderstanding; however, we did not press the issue then because we were discussing other matters.

I began observing the people in my group as the presentation evolved. I thought to myself, is anybody thinking what I am thinking? I could not tell except that a group member did look a little perplexed. Within 10 -15 minutes of the presentation, I made reference to what happened last week. I thought it was perfect timing because our facilitator happened to be making comments in her presentation about, “things are not always what they appear to be.” I honestly thought she was referring to the “misunderstanding” last week but when she began to shift her focus, I could not help but to inquire about why she chose that topic.

I thought perhaps it had something to do with the incident. She looked confused and denied it. She even expressed not knowing what I was referring to. Obviously, everyone else knew because they all had that nervous look on their faces. The guy member was signaling with his hands to “not go there” apparently because he was placed in the middle of it all. He appeared extremely embarrassed. Another woman made the comment, “I feel like it is a white elephant just hanging over us.” I was not sure what this meant but I assumed it had something to do with a feeling of tension in the air. The subject expressed her relief that it was out. It was the only time she had spoken until this point. I did not hear any comments from all of the other members.

Overall, it was an amicable wrap-up. The “conflict” was resolved. However, I am not quite sure how honest everyone in my group is. It seems to me that for the most part, everyone last week expressed strong feelings against what had occurred. Jaime even verbalized her concerns about having the subject as a partner in another group assignment. What happened to all those feelings everyone discussed about last week? Did they just go away?

I believe externally most people in my group support and accept each others feelings and ideas. I say externally because I get a sense that most of the members in my group do not protest or initiate anything unless somebody else does first. I’m trying to figure out if people have just somehow appointed me to always initiate things since I am “so assertive” like they say or I just happened to take on that role myself in my head. If it is real, it would be nice to share that role with someone else. It would make the group experience a little more interesting.

In addition, we are not yet acting in cohesion. As soon as the facilitator finished, two subgroups emerged. Needless to say, the group adjourned early.