In my experience so far, I have faced many challenges and insecurities, especially when I am to meet a client for the first time. At times, I wish there was a simple template to follow that would work for every client; however, I know this is not the case because every person and family is different. Perhaps this is when the theories come in to play where there is no specific format but a paradigm that I see now, is important and therefore, appreciated when working with a client.

In reflecting on the many trials that have been presented to me during this experience, I find myself thinking quite frequently on a male client I have been treating for the last six weeks. In analyzing and interpreting the reason why I think of him often, I was forced to bring into consciousness the countertransference that has surfaced in my mind but I chose not to dissect thoroughly for some time. I found myself many times immensely overwhelmed with thoughts about how the treatment can be truly therapeutic for him and even discussed different possible interventions with my fellow co-workers at my internship site.

So why does this client occur to me the most? The reason being is because he reminds me of my ex-fiancé. I sort of knew it from the beginning and in an effort to deal with this feeling I believe I in essence, fought against the possibility of terminating him when he failed to show for two consecutive sessions. I must share though, that since learning about the topic for this assignment, this client popped into my mind. Interestingly, I have not spoken about him in class and I minimally pursue a discussion about him during supervision at work. I must say, I believe I have not used the supervision time to discuss this case because of the differences in styles between my supervisor and me. With that said, I do realize I might just be rationalizing.

The way my supervision is structured is to discuss all new cases first. When I opened this particular case, I did inform my supervisor the presenting issue and the reason for seeking treatment now as was reflected on the initial contact form that this client filled out. As I was discussing the information that I learned from him during our first session, which was minimal due to his high resistance, my supervisor immediately asked me a question that seemed so abrupt and unrelated but was obvious to her. She asked, “So what annoys you about him?” As I maintained my composure from the shock I answered her, “He just does.” I knew at that point I was faced for some challenges but in spite of this, I didn’t close his case when I had the chance.

At this point, I feel I have dealt with these internal issues well enough to not let them interfere with my work with him. He still leaves a presence when our session has completed but I don’t feel the nervousness I felt during our first few sessions. In addition to that, his level of resistance has also decreased and I have been able to really understand what is going on with him because I just felt I couldn’t make progress with him in the beginning. I was also able to eventually discuss with my supervisor the possibility of a personality disorder but it was difficult to diagnose him because I wanted to make sure this was in fact what was being reflected and not my own biases. I am not a big fan of diagnosing anyway so the challenge was two-fold.

Ultimately, I did not have to diagnose him because I realized he was self-pay but I do appreciate now the learning experience and how real it can be to experience strong feelings for a client I never met just because he reminded me of somebody else. In summing it all up, I am glad to say that the counseling sessions must be working for him because he referred someone else to me for treatment.