This post describes my experience in a group as I learned about the dynamics of group counseling. I met with this particular group for a full semester 1 time per week. This week I learned about losing trust,  group roles, and being very critical others – something that I hadn’t realized before this activity.

Every group session opened up with a new person in the group taking on the role of the facilitator. The next person was up to facilitate our group. Surprisingly, this person broke the chain reaction of making our group goals the main topic during our facilitator role. It was something we have molded ourselves into. It was habit.

This woman also expressed disbelief in another group member who gave an excuse last week for no fully engaging as committed. We as a group cannot seem to get past an incident that happened two weeks ago (this member had taken on [inadvertently] the role of a slacker in this group as she wasn’t consistent with her commitments and was caught in a lie).

At this point, I think it is getting old and I do not feel it is fair we should focus so much of our group time on this issue. I think I had something to do with it though because I made reference to her being absent and wondering if it had anything to do with what happened last week when we amicably confronted her. This is such a big deal to some of the ladies in our group that we are actually going to spend a whole group next week on addressing the situation “the right way.” We all agreed but in typing this journal, I realized I really wish we had moved on.

Nonetheless, our group facilitator seemed quite nervous. Her voice was shaky and she was pausing a lot in between statements. It almost sounded like she had memorized some of the scripts and even referred to the text book a few times. She also read sentences out of the book.

At that point she lost me. I just became a little confused and could not see the relevance. I noticed some of the other ladies in the group also had papers in front of them while leading. They looked down a few times to help them find their place but did not use them so keenly. I felt the other members were not really as interested and focused either. There was minimal interaction between members and not many people asked questions or offered much reassurance.

I kept wondering if the quietness of the group was making our facilitator more uneasy. She barely made eye contact with the members and her transitions and ending were abrupt. People in our group looked at one another as if they were not sure what to say or do. I do not think she was too concerned with how well she did. I believe she just wanted to get it over and done with because I sensed that relief in her when she was finished.

The one guy in our group and I were the only people asking questions. We were both primarily interested in the purpose of the activities today’s facilitator had planned. I have to say, I am slowly changing my views on him. Initially, I thought of him as this egghead but lately, I am seeing such a soft side of him that I am beginning to think maybe he talks a lot because he gets anxious.

This one lady was even concerned about his feelings when she felt another member was blaming him for the “misunderstanding” two weeks ago. She made quite a strong statement and even stopped the group’s flow because of how she felt about this. She said she thought of this guy as feeling guilty and interpreting the “excuse” that lingered around only his fault, which made her more angry toward another member who was the scapegoat of the group. The one who was quietly labeled as a slacker.

I did not sense this “anger” at all that day. I know the members did not agree with what happened but to feel angry, I think that is a little deeper. Her affect was congruent with this feeling also.

I was surprised by another female member. She seemed more empathic and concerned about the lady who was being blamed for this “issue” and thought it wasn’t fair we had been talking about her. The guy even made the comment that she (the scapegoat) was becoming the outsider. Then he referenced it later  almost as if he had made a mistake for labeling her that way.

Somebody said she thought the situation was settled last week. I thought it was strange because two weeks ago, she appeared so bothered by the situation, especially since this woman we are blaming is in another group with us. I am thinking that probably I am over analyzing her because I just cannot figure her out. It is quite possible she just had a change of heart. I cannot see or get a sense for  how other members perceive her.

The only thing I do see is that when she speaks, everyone’s attention seems so focused on her. I believe it is her presence and poise. She is not as vocal as some of the other members but when she does speak, she appears so confident that she definitely marks her presence.